used without permission, for "fair use" only

Give Us Today

Serbs have just landed on the Earth and they already want cake

by Teofil PANCIC

Vreme, Belgrade, FR Yugoslavia, April 19, 2001

Man, what's up with our people? During the last few weeks I have been simply swamped by all those who even remotely know of me and are sufficiently naïve to believethat anyone working for newspapers must have privileged access to the Holy Social secrets and therefore has certain prophet-like abilities. They want to know "neighbor, how long will this last?" By this, these pretty desperate inquisitive persons refer to the chronic emptiness in their wallets and everything that goes with that. It seems people would like to live well and think that, as last autumn they finally guessed correctly at the intelligence test (and twice, hurah!) they have the unalienable right to that, and that that must be provided to them in unlimited amounts; by decree if necessary! For example, Djindjic decrees the start of prosperity and of course, it starts! Might makes right! And if someone even tries to mention "economic laws" and other stupidities cobbled together for no other purpose than to fool working men and citizens...! But prosperity is still somehow uncertain, which for this particular type of intellect is an undeniable proof that "these new ones are the same as the old ones". Except that they are even worse, as now we shall even have to pay taxes, which is really a mean act worthy of the New World Order.

The respected reader has probably already noted this omnipresent phenomenon. Serbs came en masse back to the Planet Earth a few days ago and immediately started demanding cake! And they are even angry and moreover disapointed that out of all fruit of paradise they have so far only gotten a lot of nothing. Furthermore, sober and honest knowledgeable individuals tell them that it will likely remain the same in the future and that a lot of time, patience, frugality and hard work will be needed to get out of the mess in which we had gotten with zealous support of most of those who today demand (Give Us Today!) cake.

Serbia is truly a Big Secret. Either that or I am hopelessly naïve because I have a habit of taking people seriously. Namely, this sudden and very agitated interest in personal prosperity and normal and orderly life is nothing but a normal and positive trend that I most sincerely welcome as an indication of very healthy life-loving impulses. I suppose I should feel like a winner because my values have been appropriated by the majority? But why so quickly?! I mean, what do they need that for? Don't they have dignity, why don't they chew on that? I was convinced that a few years ago we came to a conclusion that "we" do not need such crap and that we shall reject "banality" of life and insignificant "materialistic values" on behalf of the Glorious National Myth? Didn't exactly that aggressive Majority with enthusiasm choose and thereby also determine the direction of my fate and fate of all those who disagreed with that? Namely, ten years ago Serbia faced not a "political" but exactly a cultural and civilizational choice; and she chose to be hungry, torn, dirty and despicable. That, I repeat, was without any doubt a clear (majority) choice of Serbia, her adult and sane citizens and voters. And, in some perverse fashion, that is also legitimate, but then all the consequences must be consistently accepted and born, without hypocritical complaints and laments. For the sake of example, we can say that ten years ago smiling Ante Markovic was a personification or mascot of one cultural and general paradigm. He offered to Serbs and others green imperialist dollars, access to the European Union, and refrigerators full of decadent delicacies; on the other side of the symbolic and value Split was the representative of the option that won - inimitable Branko Kostic and his infamous "we shall eat roots". And "roots" won once, twice, three times... In the meantime everything was destroyed so thoroughly and overgrown by roots that remains are hardly visible. Even when the downfall was more than obvious, the Majority, which today, led by disgusting trade unionist hypocrites, howls insulted demanding to be given something, anything, for free, rejected charming, picturesque charlatan Milan Panic (again as a metaphor of course) and on behalf of the cosmically cold Energy of Death of one Slobodan Milosevic. Because, Panic also proposed to them to give up silliness and instead of liberation of this and that, turn to serious work and start producing something; however that did not sound interesting to the Majority.

Now, however, the bloody and muddy Gruel of Consequences has been eaten to the end and the bare-bottomed silent majority would like to somehow return to the Lost Normalcy, and right now; and that is more than O.K., but that mass immaturity is simply amazing; it is amazing how many people think that after all those impressive pestilent stupidities it is enough to make one move with a pen in the election booth to make everything (it must be) exactly the same as before; and if it isn't, then it must be someone else's fault (not theirs, of course). However, I am still confused. It seems to me that that change of consciousness should be expressed in some way, by at least announcing that until now "we" ate some unpleasant things and now we would like to return to the half-forgotten taste of sweet strawberries. What do you think about organizing an imposing rally at the Usce park (Gazimestan in Kosovo is unfortunately not available these days) where we would gather the same team that was there in 1989, minus dead, killed and people's sentries, where the speakers would say exactly the opposite to what was said there the first time round? Therefore, an un-rally, as a symbolic admission that they screwed up a bit in 1989... Because, just like the authorities have to prove that they are serious, somehow the adult, sane citizens have to demonstrate that now, for a change, they know what they are doing and what they want?! After that I will believe them too...

In the meantime I respond only with the bleakest of all possible answers to annoying questions regarding Prosperity. And what happens? I tease them and they all, depressed, believe me! Ten years ago I was serious and everyone thought I was kidding. As I said, Serbia is a Big Secret.


Translated on June 7, 2001
VREME