used without permission, for "fair use" only

We Didn't Know

by Zlatko Dizdarevic

Svijet, Sarajevo, Bosnia-Hercegovina, November 11 1997

With every day, one finds an increasing number of reasons for the conclusion that, after all, we are not all that different from the rest of the world, regardless of how much we've been trying to give birth to our own and long lasting feelings of superiority. Unfortunately, the truth that personal courage in facing our own misery is not one of our stronger characteristics has been catching up with us. We have been appalled by those who have recently closed their eyes in order not to see the tragedy in Bosnia-Hercegovina, justifying that by saying that they "didn't know". That theirs "we didn't know" we used to compare with the other "we didn't know" from 50 years ago, being appalled and slightly disgusted by the rest of the world because of that. Because of that disgust we became somehow stronger and full of ourselves, with the feeling of superiority (self-exaltation). We even hastened to put that feeling of superiority into new text books where one can find that the characteristics of the Bosniaks are honesty, courage, truthfulness, religiosity etc. All that unqualified and collective. The smarter high school students have already figured out that loud disdain and scorn for the "rest of the world" is a foolproof method to earn a good grade. Like real patriots, because there is no "we didn't know" among us, there is no cowardice in front of the world and ourselves, no uncertain glances, bowing in fear...

Nevertheless, the life required very little to make a joke out of ourselves. Thus, today, we "don't know" how come the stories about crimes in Sarajevo have anything to do with us. Supposedly, we didn't know what was going on in Kazani, who killed whom and how, and how come until this day the graves of bestially murdered victims haven't been located. We don't know what we know, don't remember what we remember, don't want to discuss the events about which we have whispered for years. Lies and cowardice have brought us to misery and poverty. The ruling party and its leaders didn't know anything, and then they threaten to sue a journalist who mentioned them in the context of the crimes which took place in Sarajevo in 1993, offering a proof that "as early as 1993 [they] sent a memorandum to the authorities warning about..." What did they warn the authorities about if they didn't know what was going on. If they did know, and warned the authorities, why didn't they do something, because no one else could do anything about that, as no one else can do anything about that today. Certain editors from the media also "didn't know" and even told foreigners (it's been recorded in books) that they "care more about the safety of their journalists than any sort of truth about them..."

Supposedly, investigative magistrates also didn't know, nor did undertakers, nor did those who were against exhumations. The intellectuals also didn't want to know, even in 1996 when everything had been finished long time before, because they "shouldn't get involved in something which [hadn't] been fully resolved". And the city shivered behind the lowered blinds waiting for someone to finally resolve the dilemma: who is a criminal and who a victim in the cemeteries on two different spots in the city. However, courage was necessary for that act. Something must be wrong. The mistake is either in everyday life or in those above mentioned text books. At a place where everything can be this way and that way, where black can be white and white can be black, there can be no happiness for anyone. Nevertheless, it seems that we, who "didn't know", like precisely that. Now, a writer made of courage and generosity is "the same" as the one who likes to incessantly terrorize anyone normal and free in this country, and even does it in the name of faith and a political party. Now small church mice are the same as those who out of the deepest patriotic feelings offered themselves; now we "don't know" how the hoodlums managed to grab power and riches, "don't know" who did what to us, and why. Now, finally, we are the same as those who "didn't know" fifty years ago, or those who "didn't know" about our suffering during the last five-six years and provoked our disgust. As such, it seems to me, we are still far from the description in our own text books. Where did we find courage to write them? How come we knew how to do that?

Translated on 1/24/98