SHIT OF THE YEAR 2000

Feral Tribune, Split, Croatia, December 2, 2000

When in the long gone 1996 we asked you to express your democratic will and select the Shit of the Year, you, dear readers, behaved just like in the presidential election and gave most of your votes to Dr. Franjo Tudman. The following year, 1997, we appealed to your civic and national consciousness and requested your votes for the Shit of the Year. However, you again voted for Dr. Franjo Tudman. Need we mention that you repeated the same in 1998 and 1999?

But everything ends at some point. The past is behind us. No more. Amen. This year, the same ploy will not work. Enough playing for keeps. Now, the only certain thing is that it is not known who will win most of your votes. Of course, it is also certain who will not receive any of your votes.

Instead of shedding tears for the past, get down to work and democratically choose whose overflowing underpants will be seated on the vacant throne. As every year so far, we've offered a selection of 20 most serious candidates for the precious award - Golden Bukalin [chamberpot] for the Shit of the Year as chosen by our readers. It's up to you to check out the offer and send us your votes for the Shit of the Year 2000.

We shall receive your votes until December 27, 2000 at 12pm, when we shall organize the traditional drawing. The results of the vote, names of rewarded readers and the report from the hotel Shilton, where a pile of chamberpots will be distributed, will be published in our first year 2001 issue.

An important remark: if in your opinion none of the offered 20 shits seems deserving of the glorious title, you can vote for any pearl of wisdom published in the Greatest Shits pages during year 2000. Votes for verbal pearls from the transcripts of Dr. Franjo Tudman's conversations, although they were published this year, will not be taken into account because there is no going back, no matter how much you want that.

HDZ is not only past, something that has happened; it is also future, something that may happen.
Dr. Mate Granic in interview to Vjesnik, January 2000
Today it is absolutely clear that the elections were not won by the Communist coalition. They were lost by the HDZ.
Maja Freundlich in Zrcalo, February 2000
The insecurity we feel while living in other people's homes is on the increase.
Ivan Baric, the president of Knin HVIDRa, in Vjesnik, February 2000
Because of its specific interest for the stability of Europe, the US is one of the closest neighbors of Croatia. Therefore, the relations between Croatia and the US will be as between good neighbors.
From the Program of Prime Minister Ivica Racan's Government, February 2000
So far, someone has wrongly instructed workers that bankruptcy is dangerous for them.
Slavko Linic, a deputy Prime Minister, in Vecernji List, February 2000
If Milosevic stays in power in Serbia, Croatian independence will be preserved.
Robert Kraljevic in Zrcalo, March 2000
Franjo Tudman recorded but did not publish, and today Stipe Mesic does not record but publishes transcripts, which is much worse.
Drazen Budisa in Vecernji List, April 2000
We shall destroy the tourist season, block the roads, ports and airports. We shall send letters to foreign embassies warning them that their citizens are not welcome in Croatia and that they should advise them to spend their vacations elsewhere.
Marinko Liovic, the president of the association HVIDRa, in Globus, May 2000
I took my underpants off and pissed on the Serb monument. This is Croatia. If I want to piss on any part of Croatia, I shall do so. If Croatia were in question, I would again urinate.
Biserka Legradic, at the protest rally of Croatian war veterans' associations in Veljun, May 2000
Croats must live on every inch of Croatian land. Therefore we shall not permit that the ethnic minority that is our greatest enemy multiply and produce litters here.
Dragan Hazler, the president of the association Croatian Domobran during the erection of a monument to Jure Francetic in Slunj, June 2000
It is horrendous that the new authorities are unconditionally cooperating with the Hague and emphasizing individual guilt, since the individual guilt does not exist. Every verdict of the Hague Tribunal is a verdict to all those who defended Croatia.
Anto Dapic, at a public debate in Slunj, June 2000
The New Croatian Right with relief and gratification received the news that the notorious liar Milan Levar had been eliminated. We hail that manly act of our patriotic warriors from Gospic.
Mladen Schwartz in Vecernji List and Jutarnji List, August 2000
Do not push weapons into our hands!
Marinko Liovic, the president of the Association HVIDRa, in the letter to "the so-called Croatian authorities", September 2000
There can be no war crimes in Croatia. That must become a dogma unconditionally accepted by all Croat politicians.
Anto Dapic at a gathering for the protection of dignity of the Homeland War in Gospic, September 2000
The claim that the HDZ is a criminal organization is a terrifying insult and accusation of the Croatian people. Because, only a criminal people could vote for a criminal organization.
Drago Krpina at the opening of the HDZ party offices in Kastel Sucurac, September 2000
The Police should have at least issued illegal parking tickets to the farmers blocking roads.
Goranko Fizulic, the minister of economy, at a Government meeting, October 2000
Only traitors are not nationalists.
Milovan Sibl in Hrvatsko Slovo, October 2000
Every worthy Croat has been indicted for something.
Vladimir Gredelj, the president of the Croat Judges Association, in Jutarnji List, November 2000
Franjo, Croatian lion, get up and roar!
Dr. Branimir Luksic at a protest rally "For European Croatia, against the Balkan butcher" held in Split, November 2000
If my son and daughter were unemployed, I would have difficulty making ends meet these days.
Ivica Todoric, a tycoon, in an interview to Vjesnik, November 2000

Votes can be sent to shits@feral.hr.

Translated on December 13, 2000